Meaningless Meetings Meander Morosely Mostly

Recently I came across an interesting list of top ten time wasters at work. I jotted them down but have lost the source, so I apologize for not providing the link. Here’s their list:

  1. Instant Messaging
  2. Over-Reliance on Email
  3. Meandering Meetings
  4. Short Gaps Between Meetings
  5. Reacting to Interruptions
  6. Ineffective Multi-Tasking
  7. Disorganized Workspace
  8. Personal Communication
  9. Web Surfing "Breaks"
  10. Cigarette/Coffee Breaks

It’s a decent list that one might find on many top ten sites, I’m sure. But it’s not terribly accurate. You see, the biggest time waster in the enterprise is the Meaningless, Meandering Meeting Machine. So here’s my revised list:

  1. Thinking about meetings.
  2. Planning meetings.
  3. Doodling in meetings.
  4. Talking about meetings.
  5. Scheduling and rescheduling meetings.
  6. Meetings.
  7. Follow-up meetings.
  8. Looking or asking for minutes from meetings.
  9. Assuming people will do what was agreed to in meetings.
  10. Making lists about meetings.

I have seen good, productive employees become consumed by the Meaningless Meetings Machine. It is an endless recursive function leading to enterprise stack overflow. Sometimes executives are lost for months in the Machine and when employees smart enough or lucky enough to stay away from the Machine are asked if they have seen Mr. Soandso, they say, No, and hurriedly move on lest they too be sucked into the Machine.